Finding What You Need
A Handbook of Rich Resources for Seniors and Retirees
Stephen Lau
A Handbook of Rich Resources for Seniors and Retirees
Stephen Lau
What is spirituality?
Spirituality is the opposite of materiality. The material world is visible, measurable, and often tangible too. The realm of spirituality, on the other hand, is palpable only through love, compassion, joy, and peace.
We all have a physical body, endowed with the gift of seeing, touching, and feeling. But we also have a soul that tells us what is right or wrong - although some may choose to ignore it. In other words, we all have our spiritual potential; and spirituality is a choice to reach out for that potential innate in us. If we choose to undertake a quest for spirituality, we will find it, because Jesus said: "Seek and you shall find." (Matthew 7:7) It is all up to the individual's choice.
The quest for spirituality
Spirituality is a choice, which must be followed by a personal and individualized quest for that choice.
Spirituality begins with awareness of a deep yearning of the heart, or inner restlessness that will not be satisfied by the material world. In fact, many of us, at one time or another, feel that restlessness, although we may conveniently choose to ignore it by craving more material things in different forms of indulgence - such as addiction to drugs, sex, and work, among others.
This awareness is followed by a deep desire to satisfy that inner longing through spirituality - just as St. Augustine said: "We are restless, O Lord, until we find our rest in Thee."
To embark on the journey of spirituality, you have to be very much on your own. It is a personal pilgrimage of faith, and it is by no means easy. Jesus said: “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14).
In addition, the quest for spirituality is a test of personal perseverance and faithful obedience. It is one of the tallest orders in life. (Visit my website: The Tallest Order.)
Begin the quest with daily reading of the Word of God, worship and church services, and fellowship.
Spirituality is the opposite of materiality. The material world is visible, measurable, and often tangible too. The realm of spirituality, on the other hand, is palpable only through love, compassion, joy, and peace.
We all have a physical body, endowed with the gift of seeing, touching, and feeling. But we also have a soul that tells us what is right or wrong - although some may choose to ignore it. In other words, we all have our spiritual potential; and spirituality is a choice to reach out for that potential innate in us. If we choose to undertake a quest for spirituality, we will find it, because Jesus said: "Seek and you shall find." (Matthew 7:7) It is all up to the individual's choice.
The quest for spirituality
Spirituality is a choice, which must be followed by a personal and individualized quest for that choice.
Spirituality begins with awareness of a deep yearning of the heart, or inner restlessness that will not be satisfied by the material world. In fact, many of us, at one time or another, feel that restlessness, although we may conveniently choose to ignore it by craving more material things in different forms of indulgence - such as addiction to drugs, sex, and work, among others.
This awareness is followed by a deep desire to satisfy that inner longing through spirituality - just as St. Augustine said: "We are restless, O Lord, until we find our rest in Thee."
To embark on the journey of spirituality, you have to be very much on your own. It is a personal pilgrimage of faith, and it is by no means easy. Jesus said: “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14).
In addition, the quest for spirituality is a test of personal perseverance and faithful obedience. It is one of the tallest orders in life. (Visit my website: The Tallest Order.)
Begin the quest with daily reading of the Word of God, worship and church services, and fellowship.
Senior Spirituality
by
Stephen Lau
by
Stephen Lau
| · | Humility Without humility, no one can come to God. The sin of Adam was pride, which has become the fall of man. "Therefore anyone who humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 18:4) Mother Teresa said of herself as "only a pencil in the hands of God." It is only through humility that man can be connected with God. |
| · | Dedication Spirituality requires setting goals, and perseverance to attain those goals. |
| · | Devotion The soul needs nourishment just as the body needs nutrients. Daily input of God's Words, worship, and fellowship are necessary ingredients to nourish the soul. |
| · | Compassion Compassion is loving kindness to fellow human beings, who may or may not deserve it. Mother Teresa exemplified compassion by identifying herself with the poorest of the poor. |
| · | Focus Never lose sight of the mission to be spiritual, or to help others. Always find ways and means to meet the goals of your mission. |
| · | Selflessness Spirituality requires personal sacrifice and self-denial. It is a cross that one has to bear on the journey of spirituality. |
Why senior spirituality?
As you continue to age, you will become more prone to illness. The crisis of illness can and often does awaken your spirituality. This is especially true when you have physical limitations or a life-threatening illness with the prospect of dying. There are moments when you have exhausted all options in the hope of keeping the physical body going, and you simply have nowhere and no one to turn to.
Once you embark on the journey of spirituality, you will find strength to overcome the many challenges in aging, the comfort to face dying, death, and the courage to go on living life to the fullest until the very end.
Yes, as a senior, you need to develop a spiritual perspective that makes the final chapter of your life meaningful and purposeful.
Senior spirituality is finding meaning in life. We all find meaning in our families and friends. But, unfortunately, for some, their families and friends may no longer be around them when they are most needed. Despair may make them wither away, because meaning is the energy and fuel that keep life going for seniors.
Spirituality is finding meaning in life at whatever stage and in whatever circumstances.
The many faces of spirituality
Basically, man is spiritual in that he needs a belief system of some sort to manage or guide his emotions in an effective way. Your emotions determine how you feel about yourself and life in general. Spirituality, therefore, comes in different forms. Searching for a philosophy of life that makes you happy and healthy is already the beginning of spirituality.
Being spiritual is not quite the same as being religious, which involves following the creed of a proclaimed religion, though on the higher levels of consciousness religion and spirituality ultimately merge.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one form of spirituality that is important for seniors. It provides a release from guilt. It is only through forgiveness that you may attain true inner harmony and peace of mind.
Forgive all your enemies: it is pointless to hold the grudge against someone who wronged you. Forgiveness is the gift of a loving God. If you believe that God has forgiven you, there is no reason why you cannot forgive someone who wronged you in the past. Forgiveness puts the past in the past, and therefore enables you to live in the present to the fullest.
More importantly, forgive yourself for all the things you did not do or should have done. Self-forgiveness is a release from the guilt of "if only." It is a process not only of letting go the past, but also of accepting the imperfections and limitations of human beings. When you do not have to live up to your self-imposed expectations, you will no longer experience guilt, but only harmony and peace.
As you continue to age, you will become more prone to illness. The crisis of illness can and often does awaken your spirituality. This is especially true when you have physical limitations or a life-threatening illness with the prospect of dying. There are moments when you have exhausted all options in the hope of keeping the physical body going, and you simply have nowhere and no one to turn to.
Once you embark on the journey of spirituality, you will find strength to overcome the many challenges in aging, the comfort to face dying, death, and the courage to go on living life to the fullest until the very end.
Yes, as a senior, you need to develop a spiritual perspective that makes the final chapter of your life meaningful and purposeful.
Senior spirituality is finding meaning in life. We all find meaning in our families and friends. But, unfortunately, for some, their families and friends may no longer be around them when they are most needed. Despair may make them wither away, because meaning is the energy and fuel that keep life going for seniors.
Spirituality is finding meaning in life at whatever stage and in whatever circumstances.
The many faces of spirituality
Basically, man is spiritual in that he needs a belief system of some sort to manage or guide his emotions in an effective way. Your emotions determine how you feel about yourself and life in general. Spirituality, therefore, comes in different forms. Searching for a philosophy of life that makes you happy and healthy is already the beginning of spirituality.
Being spiritual is not quite the same as being religious, which involves following the creed of a proclaimed religion, though on the higher levels of consciousness religion and spirituality ultimately merge.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one form of spirituality that is important for seniors. It provides a release from guilt. It is only through forgiveness that you may attain true inner harmony and peace of mind.
Forgive all your enemies: it is pointless to hold the grudge against someone who wronged you. Forgiveness is the gift of a loving God. If you believe that God has forgiven you, there is no reason why you cannot forgive someone who wronged you in the past. Forgiveness puts the past in the past, and therefore enables you to live in the present to the fullest.
More importantly, forgive yourself for all the things you did not do or should have done. Self-forgiveness is a release from the guilt of "if only." It is a process not only of letting go the past, but also of accepting the imperfections and limitations of human beings. When you do not have to live up to your self-imposed expectations, you will no longer experience guilt, but only harmony and peace.
| · | Christianity: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." |
| · | Buddhism: "Hurt not others in ways that you would find hurtful." |
| · | Confucianism: "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire." |
| · | Hinduism: "One should not behave towards others in a way which is disagreeable to oneself. This is the essence of morality." |
| · | Islam: "Not one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother what he desires for himself." |
| · | Taoism: "That nature only is good when it shall not do unto another whatever is not good for its own self." |
Loving kindness is a prerequisite for spirituality. Ideally, it is a conscious effort of love extended to all, irrespective of their behaviors and our own perceptions of such behaviors. However, human perceptions are often inaccurate due to imperfect human knowledge, imperfect human memory, and imperfect human judgment. As a result, loving one's neighbor as oneself remains an ideal rather than a reality. Spirituality is the effort to make loving kindness become a reality in one's life.
| · | Seek opportunities to express loving kindness, such as volunteering, showing love to someone who least expects it, showing patient with a difficult person. |
| · | Be more aware of the needs of others, especially those who have no power or influence over you. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. |
| · | Expect more of yourself, and less of others. Remember, all unhappiness is the result of excessive expectations. Anticipate others' oversights and mistakes, and give them the benefit of the doubt. |
| · | Forgive all, including the unremorseful perpetrators. Leave the judgment to God. |
| · | Control your own negative emotions. Expressing negative emotions makes you become not only more hostile to the people involved, but also more likely to experience the same negative emotions in the future. Remember, you cannot control what is happening to you life, but you certainly control how to react or respond to it. |
Adversity
Adversity befalls everyone in different stages of his or her life, especially among seniors and retirees. Adversity has both an outer and an inner face: an outer face in the many forms of disability and illness; an inner face of depression, loss and grief, and emotional pain and hurt.
Undoubtedly, pain, both physical and emotional, is one of the most difficult of all human experiences to face and go through. Pain may have the following adverse side effects:
Adversity befalls everyone in different stages of his or her life, especially among seniors and retirees. Adversity has both an outer and an inner face: an outer face in the many forms of disability and illness; an inner face of depression, loss and grief, and emotional pain and hurt.
Undoubtedly, pain, both physical and emotional, is one of the most difficult of all human experiences to face and go through. Pain may have the following adverse side effects:
Understanding the meaning of pain, and undergoing that universal experience may provide some vicarious connection to the dark hours of pain experienced by Jesus as He felt He was forsaken by God.
Pain that affects the whole person - body, mind, and spirit - may have spiritual implications.
"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)
Pain that affects the whole person - body, mind, and spirit - may have spiritual implications.
"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)
| · | Anger: why me? |
| · | Depression: is it going to be like this? |
| · | Guilt: is it my fault? |
| · | Hopelessness: is there a way out? |
| · | Isolation: is there anyone who could help? |
| · | Where is God? Why does God let this happen to me? |
| · | The suffering of pain can make people choose to turn toward God, just like Job did, and in the choice ultimately come to a place of spirituality with peace and hope. God may come to the rescue in ways that are beyond human understanding. Remember, God's ways are not our ways. He is infinite - we are finite; He knows the end from the beginning, while we see just a short part of the now. |
| · | Suffering is a character builder in the realm of spirituality. Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; amd hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within out hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5:3-5) |
| · | Suffering is purposeful, providing opportunities for learning and growth. Suffering, in the most severe form, is despair, a feeling of utter helplessness and hopelessness. This may drive some people to suicide, while others to finding a faith foundation. |
Death and bereavement
Losses of friends, relatives, and spouses are devastating to seniors. In particular, the loss of spouse is like losing a part of oneself that is not replaceable. The loss of a child or children is an unbelievable and inconceivable loss. What parents would ever believe that a child would precede them in death?
Some seniors accept loss, while others deny it. It is important to face it, accept the grief, and work through the pain of grieving. Avoiding grief may be mentally unhealthy. but accepting loss is a major strategy to deal with loss.
Losses of friends, relatives, and spouses are devastating to seniors. In particular, the loss of spouse is like losing a part of oneself that is not replaceable. The loss of a child or children is an unbelievable and inconceivable loss. What parents would ever believe that a child would precede them in death?
Some seniors accept loss, while others deny it. It is important to face it, accept the grief, and work through the pain of grieving. Avoiding grief may be mentally unhealthy. but accepting loss is a major strategy to deal with loss.
| · | Accept the reality of loss in order to heal the pain of the loss. This is the first step that every individual has to undertake. |
| · | Give oneself the opportunity to vent the pain deep within oneself. |
| · | Learn to adjust to the environment in which the loss is acutely felt. Avoid the pitfall of social isolation. Interacting with others holds the key to recovery from the loss and adjustment to the new environment. |
| · | Let go of the image of the loss, and move on with life. |
| · | Prayer is a spiritual resource in dealing with loss. Prayer can overcome anxiety, confusion, and sadness. In praying, we make our requests to the God, and it also enables us to listen for the still, small voice within the depths of our souls. |
Facing death
Life is full of reminders of death, especially as we continue to age. Illness is often a clear reminder of mortality; and the loss of loved ones further accentuates the reality of death and dying
The most important question of a lifetime is: "If mortals die, will they live again?" (Job 14:14)
Spirituality demands a leap of faith - a belief that death can transform a physical being into another form. This transform occurred when Jesus took Peter, James, and John with Him on a high mountain, where He was "transfigured before them, and His face shown like the sun, and His clothes became dazzling white." (Matthews 17:2)
"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet . . . the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed." (I Corinthians 15:52)
Through the door of death, we enter another dimension: afterlife. For a believer in Christ, the mysteries of afterlife become the foundation of spirituality.
Life is full of reminders of death, especially as we continue to age. Illness is often a clear reminder of mortality; and the loss of loved ones further accentuates the reality of death and dying
The most important question of a lifetime is: "If mortals die, will they live again?" (Job 14:14)
Spirituality demands a leap of faith - a belief that death can transform a physical being into another form. This transform occurred when Jesus took Peter, James, and John with Him on a high mountain, where He was "transfigured before them, and His face shown like the sun, and His clothes became dazzling white." (Matthews 17:2)
"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet . . . the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed." (I Corinthians 15:52)
Through the door of death, we enter another dimension: afterlife. For a believer in Christ, the mysteries of afterlife become the foundation of spirituality.
Learn how to hear God's voice for better communication
with God!
with God!
Becoming God's Masterpiece
Be transformed through Bible study, guided prayer, Scripture meditation cards!
Be transformed through Bible study, guided prayer, Scripture meditation cards!
Are you ready for your senior spirituality?
A difficult quest
Spirituality is a rare gift bestowed on only selected individuals with the following qualities:
A difficult quest
Spirituality is a rare gift bestowed on only selected individuals with the following qualities:
Gratitude
The Roman orator Cicero once said about gratitude as "not only the greatest of virtues but the mother of all the rest."
Gratitude is counting your blessings, and being thankful for what you have and for not , getting what you deserve. Counting your blessings not only motivates you to think, speak, and act with loving kindness towards others, but also reminds you to thank God for all His provisions. Focusing on gratitude will make you feel better and be kinder to others who are less fortunate than yourself.
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing.
In everything give thanks:
for this is the will of God." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." (Colossians 3:17)
Reinforce you sense of gratitude by making it your natural reaction in everyday unpleasant situations. For example, when someone takes advantage of you, be grateful that your the victim rather than the victimizer. If you are more forgiving, you will also become more grateful.
Loving kindness
Loving kindness is a universal phenomenon in religion and philosophy
The Roman orator Cicero once said about gratitude as "not only the greatest of virtues but the mother of all the rest."
Gratitude is counting your blessings, and being thankful for what you have and for not , getting what you deserve. Counting your blessings not only motivates you to think, speak, and act with loving kindness towards others, but also reminds you to thank God for all His provisions. Focusing on gratitude will make you feel better and be kinder to others who are less fortunate than yourself.
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing.
In everything give thanks:
for this is the will of God." (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." (Colossians 3:17)
Reinforce you sense of gratitude by making it your natural reaction in everyday unpleasant situations. For example, when someone takes advantage of you, be grateful that your the victim rather than the victimizer. If you are more forgiving, you will also become more grateful.
Loving kindness
Loving kindness is a universal phenomenon in religion and philosophy
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Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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